


Woooopss...ANNND YOU'RE STRAIGHT.

by BardsAmbrosia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Masturbation, Voyeurism, i guess idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 03:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardsAmbrosia/pseuds/BardsAmbrosia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lil Hal secretly does you a favor and indulges your sexual fantasies.  </p><p>((also lets pretend that lil hal has a programed voice and its maybe dirk's ok and that title was rushed and is hilarious alright thank u southpark))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woooopss...ANNND YOU'RE STRAIGHT.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Loquaciousness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/801669) by [meiwai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiwai/pseuds/meiwai). 



TT: Your hands where I can see them or this will end much sooner than you'd like, sweetheart.

You shake in anticipation and rest your hands on the desk by the side of your laptop. Nails dig slightly into the your palm, clenching and unclenching.

TT: Those hands could work nicely on my cock while you try desperately to fit the rest in your mouth.

TT: Judging by your sporadic trembling, this is turning you on?  
If I was Dirk, I would be stroking myself through the fabric of my jeans by now. I would fucking love this.

"A.R.-" You moan when AR lets out a throaty groan on the right side of your headphones.

His red text accumulate faster than sound of his voice.

TT: No, call me Dirk. It will intensify the experience, my dear. 

TT: Your hands wrapped around my dick, its drenched with your spit and my precum. You can feel the pulse of my heart beating in excitement as my cock is throbbing in your hand.

TT: I forget about Jake; forget I'm gay and momentarily wonder if I am bisexual instead. My thoughts are cut short when you resume your ministrations with your luxurious breasts. You squeeze them around me and lick the head of my cock.

You grind into your seat, feeling dampness under you. A.R. lets out a breath that you can almost feel on your skin.

TT: You keep sucking and licking the tip, teasing me. I descend my hands into your hair and hold steadily onto you. Lick my lips; bite them and clench my teeth as you torture me.

TT: I whisper for more; a whimper escapes me when one of your hands grasps my balls and squeezes them. Your fingers trail from my balls to the place behind them; soft finger tips graze there and then you barely touch my only nirvana to feeling something stretch me out and drive me to insanity-

A.R.'s voice becomes deeper, becomes a whisper.

TT: But you move your fingers away. My woven fingers in your hair go tight and I jerk you forward, and you moan around me. You like it rough and I thrust into your hot,wet, sinful mouth. 

TT: You choke when I thrust into your throat and it tightens around me. I apologize and stroke your cheek lovingly.

TT: I would pick you up and push you up against a wall, table, a bed. Taste you with my tongue, returning the favor. You would grab something, anything and tremble above me.

"Dirk..."

TT: I would kiss,lick, and suck you everywhere; get drunk on your taste. But that would never satisfy me.  
I need to be inside you; fucking you raw and deep. Marking you as mine, when I release inside you. I would thoroughly make you mine. Every single place touched and stroked. Your mouth, pussy, and ass as well; if you would allow me. 

You bite the inside of your mouth and futilely lick dry lips. You grind down on your chair and feel dampness.

You arch your back and rub your legs together,closing your eyes.

TT: Go ahead. Touch yourself. 

You let out a breath and begin to pant softly as you finish ruining your chair. Your fingers speed to your undoing.

TT: As I fuck you, I would make sure to kiss you; swallow up all those sweet noises you'd make.

"Ahh, D-dirk...!" You bite your lip almost painfully hard.

TT: I would make sure to prolong your pleasure whether I or you release first. I would thrust into you til we are both too sore to continue.

You were close.

TT:And then I would wrap you in my arms and tell you that I love you like no other. We would kiss and-

A.R. was cut off by another force and you hadn't noticed his sudden absence.

"Hn, Dirk.." Your cheeks flushed and your skin hot. Small beads of sweat on your body.You straighten up some and hooked your legs over the arm rests of your chair, spreading yourself wide; fingers still at work.

On the other side of the screen Dirk sat down in front of his computer. He noticed a small chat screen and his webcam was on. Before he could enlarge it, A.R. Interrupted the action.

Dirk furrowed his brows, "What's the deal?"

TT: Nothing much, how was your outing?

"There's something up. You wouldn't ask that."

TT: What? I can't ask my friend how's he's doin- wait,wait!

Dirk put A.R.'s program on sleep mode. "No because you're me and I wouldn't ask." Dirk smirked and enlarged the chat. 

His mouth hung open within 3 seconds.  
A girl; You- it was you.

Legs spread, bruised bitten lips, flustered, saying his name in mantra just above a whisper.

Your name laid on his tongue, but his voice couldn't work nor his mouth.  
He leaned himself closer and his face hit the screen, trying to get a better look. He could feel something stir in his lions from the scene in front of him. He can see a part of the previous conversation you and A.R. were having and that doesn't help his quickly hardening erection.

You nearly scream when you release and your body convulses. You take a few breaths and let out a hum of satisfaction. 

"Thanks... for indulging me A.R., you're a good friend." You look up and meet Dirk's stare.

The real Dirk. 

He lifts up his shades, his eyes lidded and predatory. He inhales deeply. "Howdy."

You cover yourself uselessly with your arms. This is the most awkward day of your life.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if Dirk would say 'howdy' but hey it works for me.  
> sorry if Dirk and Hal didn't sound all smart and sassy.  
> and i seriously don't know how to do that colored text thing, that would have been cool.


End file.
